xmas chaos gift ideas

so turkey day has come and gone. now the next craze is the xmas chaos. until the end of the year we’ll deal with crazy traffic, parking lots filled to the brim, and assholes at the stores all trying to finish off their lists of things to waste their money on.

since i already have a patience problem with regular traffic and the morons on the roads – xmas traffic just makes me plain ill. so i try to minimize my time on the road as much as possible.

i surf the net. and i have to admit i’ve found way more dumb things to waste my dough on than if i went to the mall. so from here on out, i’m gonna note some *unique* gifts to pass out before xmas day gets here.

lets start with Cap’n Danger!


here we have Cap’n Danger Stunt Monkey. 4″ tall and made of hard vinyl, Cap’n Danger comes with a 26″ round nylon parachute with a rubber harness. perfect for throwing at little sisters with long hair or pelting into unsuspecting cube mates.


perhaps we have a ninja friend. avoid getting stabbed in the eye and buy them something personal to pimp their cash flow and ninja stars by getting them a PERSONALIZED wallet! woot.


for the holy roller clutz – jesus bandages. just as exciting as a box of cereal, why? because it comes with a FREE TOY INSIDE! the toy is a small plastic trinket designed to help make the boo-boo get better faster.


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