Yuppie for a Day – 2008 Jaguar XJ Super V8

Pulled into the parking lot and was disappointed to see that there was an EMERALD GREEN Jag waiting for me. Don’t get me wrong, green is a great color. I’m just not a fan of it on most cars. I don’t want to feel like I’m driving a tree. I was a bit let down with the same boring style of the Jag too. At least the front of it improved and seemed to have incorporated some aggressive design elements. The other thing that seemed off was the chrome details on the car mixed with polished rims. Do one or the other, not both. It looks weird. Also disappointed to discover the shiny front grille is made of plastic. Yep, plas-tic-o.

more stupid toys

woo hoo. so as i said before, i was going to list off things i found on the net that i could waste my money on to avoid the holiday nightmare traffic.

so lets resume with the almighty 14 M.P.H. Cooler! oh yea, this is the shin diggity of cool. drive this baby around and always have a cold one handy. this fab ride supports up to 300lbs and goes 15 miles of distance on a single charge. who wants a stupid go cart when you can have one of these!?!

maybe if you’re extra rich, you can afford to buy someone an overpriced bite off of the old skool rockem sockem robot set. whats worse – you have to buy batteries. i dont remember the old skool ones requiring batteries….

maybe you know a hooker who’s been down on their luck. get him/her back on their feet, err thighs, arms, whatever by getting them a personal dancing pole kit. it even comes with an instructional DVD! oh yea!

i can haz cheezburger?!?!

lolcats is great. it takes a bit to understand the language - but after a while you kinda figure out whats being said. they’re mostly bad pics of cats with stupid/funny captions, but sometimes u see other animals in the pics too.

i submitted one a while back – but as my friend mentioned, they only seem to be interested in pics taken with a damn camera phone and not a descent cam.

so every now and then i’d go through and look at the dumb pics and have a laugh. i’ve marked a few that were pretty damn funny and decided to share them here.

here’s the one i submitted a while back – guess it wasnt that funny…

xmas chaos gift ideas

so turkey day has come and gone. now the next craze is the xmas chaos. until the end of the year we’ll deal with crazy traffic, parking lots filled to the brim, and assholes at the stores all trying to finish off their lists of things to waste their money on.

since i already have a patience problem with regular traffic and the morons on the roads – xmas traffic just makes me plain ill. so i try to minimize my time on the road as much as possible.

i surf the net. and i have to admit i’ve found way more dumb things to waste my dough on than if i went to the mall. so from here on out, i’m gonna note some *unique* gifts to pass out before xmas day gets here.

lets start with Cap’n Danger!

here we have Cap’n Danger Stunt Monkey. 4″ tall and made of hard vinyl, Cap’n Danger comes with a 26″ round nylon parachute with a rubber harness. perfect for throwing at little sisters with long hair or pelting into unsuspecting cube mates.

perhaps we have a ninja friend. avoid getting stabbed in the eye and buy them something personal to pimp their cash flow and ninja stars by getting them a PERSONALIZED wallet! woot.

for the holy roller clutz – jesus bandages. just as exciting as a box of cereal, why? because it comes with a FREE TOY INSIDE! the toy is a small plastic trinket designed to help make the boo-boo get better faster.

and another observation

observation.

Timothy Olyphant is hot.

that is all.

ps. i’ve been observing Tim since Go and Gone in Sixty Seconds. then i saw him again in A Man Apart and The Girl Next Door. thought he was awesome in Deadwood. and now in Hitman, he’s hot as hell.

yay for FIDO!

dark humor, carrie anne moss, and zombies. a perfect combination for a great movie. watch it. it’s good.

homemade tesla coil battery powered plasma gun!

thats right! make your very own homemade tesla coil battery powered plasma gun! throw away those cheapie fake plastic ray guns – its time for the real deal! all you need is a power drill, some other little gadgets, and you’re on your way to zapping those aliens stealing our cows!

These video clips show the plasma gun causing a nearby light bulbs to light up.

Our Lady of Garage Sales Candle

thats right. pray to the Lady of Garage Sales and score the best thrifting deals possible.

“Our Lady, I offer this candle that you will guide me in my quest for the best garage sales. Help me leave my warm bed early to secure the best deals, and keep the best items hidden from my competitors. Ensure that I will know the difference between treasure and trash, and that I will always negotiate the lowest price. And with your great power, keep me from risking my retirement fund on tchotchkes! Amen. “

Light candle on Friday night before retiring. Repeat prayer once while checking out garage and estate sales in classified ads. Repeat prayer three times while driving around searching for posted sales.

impressive work

i always surf the net for inspiration, ideas, etc.  occasionally i’ll come across someone’s work who just makes me go ‘wow’. 

well i’ve come across a few more recently and decided to let folks know about them.

toddlertoes : obviously this gallery includes little people, hence the name.  i’m usually not big on kid portraits and stuff, but this photographer really does a fantastic job in capturing candid moments.

lara jade : this gal’s work is super.  i love the PP’ing and general feel for her images. 

babykailan : i love scottish folds.  good composition for cat pics.

emma. c : she has a fantastic eye.  for almost everything.

ryanallen.info : has some really rad work.  paint work is fantastic and up for sale.

PiXistenZ : great cinematic style photography.  great eye, great composition.

not the cows!!!

a serious problem the public faces.

cow abductions.

if we let this keep happening, we’ll have no more Five Guys left. oh, the horror.

(when you get to the website, move ur mouse over the cow and have ur speakers on.)